I binged. I was weak and I binged.
Chocolate, pizza, cookies, pretzels, crackers, snack cakes...
And I couldn't purge. I was just about to finally get it up when I thought I heard my mom in my room, so I turned off the tap and wiped off my face, but then I heard her talking on the phone outside my room. After that, I was just so paranoid I couldn't do it. I gained 3 lbs on this binge. :(
So, I am going to write down everything I'm feeling right now, so in the future if I feel like bingeing, I'll read this and hope it discourages me.
Put down the cookie, fatass
It's not worth it. Look at at: sure it looks...chocolatey, moist, rich, sweet; everything you want right now. It looks innocent- it looks like it will give you comfort, right? But it won't. That cookie is just evil. It's luring you in with it's comforting smell, teases you with it's chocolate. You won't taste any of it, though. Not even if you *attempt* to eat it slowly. It will pass over your taste buds and go straight to your stomach, where it will sit and make you feel horrible for ages. It will remind you that you are indeed a failure and shouldn't even bother living. You'll try to purge, but nothing will come up because you're a failure at that, too. So it will sit in the stomach like a heavy brick, weighing you down and bringing the digits on the scale into the triple digits. Your hipbones will waste away under a layer of suffocating fat, and your chin- oh, your chin- will become nothing but a big blob of lard. All of this in a matter of moments. Trust me, I'm looking in the mirror right now. Your clothes will immediately feel smaller and you won't be able to breathe. You won't be able to do your homework because you'll be too busy crying over the stupid cookie and feeling your sides expand to fill the room. You'll sit in front of the computer, feeling sorry for yourself, making plans to fast when you know it won't happen because you are a
f a i l u r e .
So, was it worth it?
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