Urges

I lost every part of me that I care about today. I realized that I am the worthless person I always thought myself to be..
I successfully destroyed my relationship, time to move on to myself.
Urges, oh the urges.
Urges to accidentally cut too deep.
Urges to not eat until the pain takes over.
Urges to work out until I pass out.
Urges to drink and smoke all the sorrows away.
Urges to cease to exist. Ohh, that's a nice one.
Which urge will I fulfill today?
Trick question.
All of them.

*** (From A Rose Amongst Thorns)
Abandoned :
1. To withdraw one's support or help from, especially in spite of duty, allegiance, or responsibility; desert: abandon a friend in trouble.
2. To give up by leaving or ceasing to operate or inhabit, especially as a result of danger or other impending threat: abandoned the ship.
3. To surrender one's claim to, right to, or interest in; give up entirely.
4. To cease trying to continue; desist from: abandoned the search for the missing girl.
5. To yield (oneself) completely, as to emotion.

**
"Sometimes I feel like I'm not... solid. I'm hollow. There's nothing behind my eyes. I'm a negative of a person. It's as if I never - -I never thought anything. I never wrote anything. I never felt anything."
"We're not even two people. Even before we met, we were just these two halves, walking around with big gaping holes in the shape like the other person. And when we found each other we were finally whole. And then it was as if we couldn't stand being happy so we ripped ourselves in half again."