So I posted a reply to a post about someone not wanting to recover, and not wishing for people to say "Get help..you'll feel better eventually". This is an excerpt of my reply, which I just wanted to post here because I got a lot out I've never been able to voice before. The main thing is the argument of 'You're selfish because you want to commit suicide', as well as how scary it actually is to live with depression and an ED. Well, here it is...
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In the past four months I've had three suicide attempts and spent a week in a psych facility.. I don't eat because I simply just want to hurt myself that way. I don't want to be skinny or whatever... I just don't want to be here. I don't understand why other people can be so selfish as to say I'm selfish for not wanting to live every single day of the rest of my life in absolute misery. I have no control over my emotions. One simple thing sends me off the walls.. People don't understand how terrifying that is..that even when you're happy, you're scared because any moment your mind can bring you into a deep, dark hole and crush any positive emotions you may have previously possessed... And I'm the selfish one? They just want me here so they don't have to hurt for a week or whatever. They'll get over it.. I won't ever get over staying here.
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